So you know that you’re spouse is cheating on you. You’ve gathered evidence, you have theories, you know when they’re meeting their lover…How do you confront them?
Well, before you can answer that question, you have to answer this question:
“Do You Want to Save Your Marriage?”
You answer to this question pretty much defines the way that you want to handle the confrontation. Just click on your answer above to be taken to the appropriate section.
“I Want to Save My Marriage”
You should brace yourself for a difficult process. Repairing a relationship where you’ve been cheated on is one of the most painful, longest and most frustrating tasks that anyone can hope to accomplish.
It will take patience. It will take forgiveness. It will take sacrifice.
Scared yet? If not, then congratulations. You may actually have what it takes to save your marriage.
Here’s are 3 tips to confronting your spouse about the affair:
#1. Decide What You’re Going to Say Ahead of Time – This is key to having a confrontation end in your favor. Plan ahead. Each situation is unique to you, but across the board it’s always good to have a game plan.
You should take some time to think about what you’re spouse is going to say to you. Are you prepared for them to be defensive? Are you prepared for them to break down and beg forgiveness? Are you prepared for them to walk out and leave? Each of these things can and will happen to people during confrontation, and it’s your responsibility to be ready for them.
#2. Don’t Back Down…EVER – Many times when confronted about an affair people will get extremely defensive and try and place the blame on you. The reason for this is because everyone wants justification for their actions, so folks who decide it’s okay to cheat reason with themselves that it’s not their fault.
Over time, telling themselves over and over again they will actually convince themselves that it’s true. The result? When you confront them, they’re the ones that explode.
In situations like that it’s absolutely critical that you stand your ground. You are NOT at fault here, and don’t stand for anyone saying otherwise.
#3 – Your Goal Should Be Honesty For Both People – The only way that you and your husband or wife are going to get through an affair is with total honesty. You have to tell them exactly what you want, exactly what you don’t want, and what you expect out of them. Then, once you’ve fully expressed yourself you should allow them to do the same.
*Bonus Tip* Get Help – Listen, I’m not a super smart guy and I am not a specialist at healing relationships. I fixed mine up okay, but I had help, and I certainly wouldn’t trust myself with the full responsibility of fixing someone else’s relationship. I can make some suggestions, and I can guide you in the right direction, but something like this is a delicate situation that I simply can’t in good conscience give you professional advice on, because I’m not a professional.
But I do know someone who is. I encourage you to check out my associate and friend, Dr. Gunzburg, has over 35 years of experience fixing affairs. I highly recommend you read his free report, even if you don’t buy the ebook.
“I Don’t Want to Save My Marriage”
Even though I would say that a divorce is emotionally easier than healing from an affair, It’s still going to be a long process that’s going to involve lots of lawyers, paper work and time.
That being said, your spouse cheating on you is certainly justification for a divorce, and if that’s the only thing that you feel comfortable with, if you think you can’t forgive your spouse for what they’ve done, then…
Here are 3 tips for confronting your spouse about their affair:
#1. Compile Your Proof – The most important part of getting a divorce to go the way you want it to is to ensure that you have ample proof of your partner’s infidelity. It’s highly recommended that you either use SpyBubble GPS Tracking or Sherlock Pro Key Logger (it comes with Sarah Paul’s ebook) to get concrete evidence of your spouse’s affair.
#2. Make it Clear You Want a Divorce – What I’ve found is that the best way to begin a confrontation of this nature is to make it clear that you know everything you need to know about the affair and that you’ve decided you want a divorce. I know it’s hard, but the less emotion you allow yourself to display, the better.
#3. Learn Everything You Can About Divorce – Do you want to get a better deal than your spouse from the divorce?
For most people, that’s a resounding YES!
But divorce is complicated, and there are a lot of ways that you can go wrong if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Honestly, divorce is not something that I’ve been through, and so I really don’t feel qualified to give you legal advice about this. Luckily, being in the online business I’ve made a few informed friends in the divorce niche that I trust, two of which I’d like to refer you to:
Divorce Advice for Women from The Divorce Diva, Cathi Adams.
Divorce Advice for Men from My Friend, Jim Williams
There’s some wonderful free information in both of those reports, and although they do each sell an ebook, just reading their report will put you several steps ahead of your spouse, and should help you to come out on top.
Well that’s about it for Step 4: Confront. I hope that you’ve found this guide to be both helpful and informative. You’re almost done! Keep reading Step 5: Healing for the end of the C.A.T.C.H. affair guide.
Thanks for reading!
How We've Been Found:
- how to confront a cheating spouse (247)
- how to tell someone you know they are cheating (193)
- how to confront a cheating husband (71)
- how to tell your spouse you know they are cheating (41)
- how to tell someone you know they cheated (21)
- how to confront a cheating wife (18)
- wedding rings for men and women (11)
- how to tell your spouse you know they cheated (10)
- how to confront my cheating wife (5)
- what do you do when you know your spouse is infidelity (3)