I was eating chocolate pie the first time I realized that my wife, Mary, was cheating on me with another man. It was the worst tasting pie I’ve ever eaten.
I will never forget the day…It was a cold winter afternoon and I had been having a bad week.
Things were really weird at home; my wife had been growing more and more distant from me and I couldn’t figure out why. I was swamped at work and I had just learned 2 weeks before that they were making cuts.
I was stressed to the max, and I had hit up my favorite waffle house to enjoy a piece of my favorite chocolate pie (seriously, Waffle House!).
However, as I dug my fork into my third bite of succulent pie, all of a sudden I realized something that I could never un-realize: My wife of 8 years was cheating on me.
All of a sudden my wife’s strange behavior made sense, and as badly as I wanted to forget that terrible thought I just couldn’t do it. All of a sudden I had a deep sinking feeling that dug itself into the pit of my stomach; it was the worst that I’ve ever felt.
I felt terrified at the thought of losing the woman I love. I felt angry at myself for driving her away. I felt trapped, powerless, frustrated and angry all at the same time.
Even though I hadn’t actually caught her with another man, I knew deep down that one day I would catch my wife cheating on me. I knew I had no choice but to find cold-hard proof of my wife’s affair, and that I wouldn’t be able to rest until I did.
Looking back, even though that was definitely one of the worst days of my life, I did one thing right:
“I admitted to myself that my wife was cheating on me.“
From that point onward I operated on the assumption that my wife was having an affair, and here’s why; Let me take a second to let you in on some fun facts discovered in studies done in the past 10 years:
- Did you know that 85% of the time when one spouse suspects the other of an affair, they’re correct?
- Did you know that 60% of men admit to having an affair over the course of their marriage?
- Did you know that 45% of women admit to having an affair over the course of their marriage?
- Between both genders it’s estimated that in over 50% of marriages at least one person will be involved with someone else. Sometimes both!
What does that mean for you? Well, it means that the first step of uncovering an affair is…
Step 1 – Concede Your Partner is Cheating on You
Now remember when I was talking about the 1 thing that I did right on the day I was eating chocolate pie? This is it. I admitted to myself right then and there that my wife was cheating on me. I knew that the fact I was even suspicious basically guaranteed that I was right.
Why? Because if you remember, 85% of the time when one spouse suspects the other, they’re right! I suspected my wife of cheating on me. That means that there’s about a 15% chance that I was wrong (I wasn’t).
Here are your options:
#1) You can deny that you’re being cheated on. You can feel bad for even having the thought that your partner might be cheating on you. You can let it chew you up inside until you explode at your partner in a fit of emotion with wild accusations (not recommended!). Or…
#2) You can Concede that you’re partner is cheating on you and move on to Step 2 of the C.A.T.C.H. plan and focus on catching them red-handed.
The choice is yours. If you pick #1, well, you have my sympathies. I hope that at the very least you’ll let a professional help you. Denial is a difficult and painful road, and I’m sorry to say it, but in the end you WILL be wrong. The odds are stacked against you, plain and simple.
If you picked #2? Congratulations. You’re one step closer to catching your spouse’s infidelity.
| ==> Step 2: Act Now